TFD Series: Marriage is not an emotional decision

Still on the TFD Series and the wise words from Mrs Awosika.

When I was still single, I stumbled across an awesome book by Barbara De Angelis that made me think really hard about the kind of man I would like to be married to. By the time I was done reading it, I had a list of qualities and attributes I would like in my partner. I also had a list of fatal flaws… things I knew I just couldn’t cope with. When the list was complete, she explained that no one would meet that list 100 percent, maybe 70 percent, maybe 80 percent as no one is perfect, not even me or you.

So armed with my list I was ready for the suitors to come and I really thought I was very well prepared. Even with all that preparation, marriages still need to be worked on. Two people coming for two different backgrounds are bound to have misunderstandings every now and then but when you start with incompatibilities from the beginning, its going to be a very tough long road. BUT Imagine if you are not even slightly prepared!

If you are single, rejoice! You have to opportunity to make the right decision regarding your future. Marriage is too important to make a random quick emotional decision. Take your time, think about it. Just because you have been asked doesn’t mean you have to say yes just yet if you are not convinced that he is the one for you. Are you settled in your heart about your spouse? Have you prayed about it? Have you done the due diligence? Are you compatible? Do you have any doubts? Are you getting married because you think its time? Are you settling because your friends are all engaged?

Imagine that you just graduated from university and you needed a job but you had savings or a benefactor who supported you financially and so for a while you had no money worries. You would research the company, the role, the pay and possibly speak to other employees about how they are treated and if they were happy and making good progress at the company. On the other hand if you were desperate, you might decide to take the job based solely on the fact that you needed income, regardless of how much you hated the role.

Don’t be like that.

Be Smart!

You have a father who is able to supply all your needs according to his riches in glory. All the love you need is available to you. He loves you immensely. You don’t have to rush into a union with any man before making sure that he’s the right man for you. Remember that the right man is not necessarily the perfect man but there’s someone out there who will make being married a more pleasurable experience. Remember that joy comes from the Lord and not any man and a union of two strong like minded people will position your family to do great things for God rather than two fighting spouses who are so concerned with war, that they are unable to fulfil their purpose on this earth.

So as we make our goals and vision boards, don’t forget to make one about your spouses (even you who are married). Remember..Write the vision, make it plain. :).

PS Our Bible Study on Marriage starts on the 1st of February and we will be using the most amazing resource. An audio teaching on marriage by TIM KELLER. It’s he all-time bestselling sermon series from Redeemer Presbyterian Church, preached in 1991, and the basis for the bestselling book “The Meaning of Marriage” in 2011.You can purchase them HERE for only $2.50 per session. I am in no way affiliated with the Redeemers Presbytarian Church but I was blown away by his teaching. You can also purchase the marriage book for a deeper study (it’s on the side bar). I can’t wait to start.

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About Nimz

Hi I'm Nimz. I'm a portrait and documentary photographer and I love to write. I have just completed a Montessori course in Early Childhood Education and am working towards opening a Montessori Nursery in Lagos, Nigeria. My work can be found at website: instagram, twitter & persicope: @nimz_i.

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