For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future ~ Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
I turned 30 a few days ago (the big 3- 0 as it’s commonly referred to) initially when I realized I was approaching 30, I talked to husband about having a party or something fancy. I knew a few people who have done something grand for their 30th and I wanted something similar. As time went by I realized that it wasn’t really my style; I guess I wanted to do what I thought was popular. In the end, I decided I wanted a quiet birthday celebration dinner with my husband and son.
On the day, I had breakfast alone at a nice restaurant. This was a big step for me because I never go anywhere alone. It’s just not something I do but I finally did it and I felt liberated. I had a nice time bonding with myself and I will do this from time to time. Later in the day my husband took me out to dinner with our 23month old son. I had the best day!!!
Before I went out for breakfast. I took time to reflect on the journey so far. I realized that God has done so much for me. I saw that God has transformed me. I am no longer that girl who lived in rejection, I am no longer the girl who had no voice, who stood for nothing, who wanted her husband to be a magician and wish all her problems away, no longer trapped in religion, no longer dance to the tune of others or live up to the expectations of people around me. This revelation was simply amazing to me!!!
I have started to love the me that God created and embracing the concept that it’s ok to be different even if it means standing alone. I am seeing my potential and exploring them; I am no longer waiting for validation before I begin to step into my purpose. I am learning to appreciate what people can give me and not resent what they can’t (that’s a Pastor Steven Furtick quote from Elevation Network) I can see for myself now that God is real and is truly a Father. He notices me and knows me, He adorns me all the time and has always done so.
He has been covering me long before I got to know Him. I feel I have lived a pretty much defeated life so far but still there is a limit to which He has allowed me to be pushed. I now know that in those times He was there and saw everything. There is nothing about me that He is unaware of and He knows my thoughts.
He heard all the times I cried out saying “God I am useless I have no hope’ He heard me when I cried out and said ‘I am good at nothing’ He saw the many times, I fought for His attention and did things just so I could be in His good books. He didn’t judge me. He pointed out my flaws in love and made me realize, that I am approaching Him like I would a human. He opened my eyes to see that I didn’t have to do certain tasks to get His affection. Humans do that but not Him.
Even as I type this, I am aware of how fortunate I am. I can see that I am certainly not who I was 5 months ago. So I seized the opportunity to speak into my life on my birthday and prophesied into my future. I trust God will handle it well.
I want to encourage whoever is reading this that as long as there is life, there is hope. You have to decide that you will cling to hope no matter your history. You have to decide to take charge of your life and ask God to show you how to do this. I quoted Jeremiah 29:11 above because wherever we are at in life, if things seem tough or it feels like God is silent, we need to remember what His thoughts towards us are. For me this scripture is saying even if things look gloomy at a certain point, there is still a plan and the Father knows it and He will fulfill it.
Before now I didn’t think any good could come out of my life but hey! That was not the Father’s plan. Even though I felt that way for many years and the events in my life seemed to agree with my thoughts, it’s not what God thought of me. Now I can see how He is truly working everything out for my good.
We only have one shot at life and we really don’t know how much time we have been allocated. For this reason, we can’t waste any more time. Do God, do you.
What people think of you is not your business, what God thinks is what is important and how you think of yourself. I am learning to walk free and not as one who is in bondage. It’s not easy because you have to change your mindset of many years and begin to think brand new but it is possible.
This year, I am really big on challenging people to step out and live their dreams, live life with a purpose. If you are confused ask God. Dont let fear hold you back, just do it!!!
We must accept that we are valuable. God doesn’t create rubbish. Life throws different things at us and influences who we become but we must remember that those things don’t have to define us.
There’s a song called ‘God’ by Joann Rosario and these lyrics from the song gets me every time and really encourages me. I hope it encourages you too.
God of decisions, Creator of answers
Thou who ordained my way
Through my transition, held my position
God, You are my God.